Anxiety Therapy: When Your Body Won't Let Your Mind Relax
On the outside, you’re holding it together. You meet deadlines, show up for people, and keep life moving. But inside, it feels different. Your body stays tense, your mind doesn’t stop spinning, and even small things can make your chest tighten or your stomach knot. You want to rest, but it’s like your body can’t find the off switch.
You’ve probably tried to manage it. Maybe you’ve talked through your worries in therapy, practiced challenging anxious thoughts, or reminded yourself you’re overthinking. Some of it helped for a while, but the worry always finds new ways to show up. You do your best to stay rational, but your body doesn’t always follow.
You might replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, or feel a rush of panic for no clear reason. Sleep doesn’t feel restorative, your heart races when you least expect it, and relaxing sometimes makes you more uneasy. It’s exhausting to live with that constant hum of tension, even when no one else can see it.
I'm Amy Hagerstrom,and I work with people who seem composed and capable but feel anxious and drained on the inside. My approach is different because we work with both your mind and body together, not separately.
Why Your Body Holds Onto Anxiety (Even When Your Mind Knows Better)
Anxiety can make it hard to trust calm moments. Some days you can reason with yourself and know things are fine, and other times the worry takes over. Your chest tightens, your stomach knots, and your body reacts as if danger is near, even when nothing is actually happening.
For many people, this pattern builds slowly. Ongoing stress, pressure, or uncertainty can train your body to stay on alert. Over time, your nervous system begins to react automatically, even when your logical mind knows there’s no real threat.
If you’ve ever felt confused by your own anxiety, knowing you’re okay but feeling like you’re not, you’re not alone. Your body is responding to learned patterns of protection that haven’t yet caught up to the present moment.
The Patterns That Show Up
You might notice certain things happening again and again:
Constant worry about what others think of you
The urge to over-explain or apologize
Anxiety when someone seems distant or upset with you
Your body won’t relax, even when there’s no real reason to feel tense
Reactions that feel stronger than the situation calls for
Difficulty setting boundaries because saying no feels risky or uncomfortable
Social situations that leave you mentally and physically drained
And then comes the aftermath. The guilt after snapping, the embarrassment when emotions spill over, the frustration about not being able to “just relax” like everyone else seems to. These patterns make sense when your body has been living in a state of high alert for so long. It takes time to help your system settle and trust that you don’t have to stay braced for what might happen next.
How I Work: A Different Kind of Therapy
You’ve probably spent a lot of time trying to think your way out of anxiety. You analyze, reason, and remind yourself there’s nothing to worry about. But when anxiety lives in your body, logic alone doesn’t bring relief. Your body needs to learn, in its own language, that it no longer has to stay on high alert.
In our work together, we start from the bottom up, paying attention to what your body is already communicating. Instead of talking about calm, we help your nervous system experience it directly. Over time, this also builds your capacity to handle moments of activation when they do happen, so those anxious surges don’t take over. As your body learns how to settle and recover more easily, your thoughts begin to follow, and that’s where lasting change takes root.
What This Actually Looks Like
Somatic Experiencing is the foundation of my work with anxiety. While traditional therapy often focuses on managing thoughts or changing behavior, this approach helps you connect with what’s happening underneath. It’s about helping your body learn that it no longer has to stay in high alert and building the capacity to be present with what you feel, even when it’s uncomfortable.
In our sessions, we shift attention from your thoughts to your body, noticing what’s happening right now. Maybe your chest tightens when you talk about work, or your stomach drops before a hard conversation. These are physical signals from your nervous system. Together, we slow down and get curious about them, taking things in small, manageable steps so your system doesn’t get flooded.
Sometimes we follow what your body naturally wants to do — taking a deeper breath, pressing your hands into your thighs, or letting your shoulders release. Other times, we stay with a sensation for a few moments to help your system learn that it can handle it without shutting down. Over time, this builds both calm and resilience. You begin to feel steadier inside, not because anxiety disappears, but because your body learns it can move through it without getting stuck.
Somatic Experiencing is a collaborative process. I stay attuned to what’s happening, guiding you to notice what your body is communicating and helping you stay connected to yourself as you do. Over time, this work helps you move from reacting to responding, from bracing to trusting, and from feeling consumed by anxiety to feeling more ease, clarity, and choice in how you live.
How Anxiety Shows Up in Your Body
When animals experience a threat, they naturally shake or move afterward and then return to rest. Their bodies complete the stress response and reset. Humans are different. We tend to push through, tell ourselves we’re fine, and keep going. The problem is that our bodies don’t always get the message that the danger has passed, so the nervous system keeps running that old protective pattern.
Anxiety is often what this looks like in everyday life. Your heart races, your stomach tightens, your muscles stay tense long after the stressful moment is over. It’s your body’s way of staying prepared for something that never comes. The goal of this work isn’t to force calm or make anxiety disappear. It’s to help your nervous system remember that it can move through activation and come back to steadiness naturally.
How Your Nervous System Responds
Everyone’s system has its own ways of handling stress:
Fight: feeling irritable or on edge, snapping when things feel out of control
Flight: wanting to escape, distract, or stay busy to avoid the anxious feeling
Freeze: a mix of fight and flight energy at the same time, like pressing the gas and brake simultaneously, leaving you tense but unable to move forward
Shutdown: when the system powers down to conserve energy, often showing up as disconnection, exhaustion, or even feelings that resemble depression
When these reactions get stuck on repeat, they can show up as:
Tightness that never quite releases
A racing heart or shallow breathing even at rest
Digestive discomfort tied to stress
Rest that doesn’t feel restorative, no matter how much you sleep
Emotional fatigue from always managing the next wave of worry
These are signs that your body has been working hard to protect you. Through somatic therapy, we help it learn that it’s safe to let go — not by pushing or fixing, but by helping your body find its natural rhythm between stress and calm.
Beyond Talk: The Safe and Sound Protocol
Sometimes, your nervous system needs extra support to recognize safety. That's where the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) comes in. Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, it uses specially filtered music to help your nervous system learn to distinguish between real threats and everyday stressors.
This isn’t background music or something you do to relax. The sound is designed to work with the part of your nervous system that helps regulate and connect. The frequencies are similar to the human voice — tones your body naturally associates with safety. Over time, listening helps your system tune back into those cues so that ordinary sounds, people, and situations start to feel less overwhelming.
Who Benefits Most from SSP
The Safe and Sound Protocol can be especially helpful if you experience anxiety that shows up in your body and senses. It may be a good fit if you:
Feel tense or uneasy in groups or conversations
Get overstimulated by noise, light, or crowded spaces
Notice yourself tuning into others’ tone or expression to see if things are okay
Feel drained or unsettled after social interactions
Have trouble relaxing because your body stays slightly on edge
Find everyday sounds or environments trigger a sense of stress or irritability
How SSP Actually Works
The Safe and Sound Protocol includes five hours of filtered music, but it’s not something we rush or treat like a task to complete. We go slowly and tailor each step to how your nervous system responds. Some people start with just a few minutes at a time, while others are comfortable listening longer.
Your first session happens online with me so we can notice together how your body responds and what feels supportive. You’ll want to be in a space that feels safe and comfortable, somewhere you can relax without distractions. Many people like to have a cozy blanket, a pet nearby, or a cup of tea in hand. You can sit quietly, draw, stretch, or do gentle movement as you listen. What matters most is that your body feels at ease.
Between sessions, we’ll decide together how to continue. Some people listen on their own between therapy sessions, while others prefer to do it during our time together. SSP works best with consistent support, so it’s offered as part of therapy with me. For children, listening can happen either during sessions or at home with a parent, depending on what helps them feel most comfortable and secure.
When Exhaustion Goes Beyond Normal: Rest and Restore Protocol
If burnout has left you feeling like no amount of sleep or downtime helps, the Rest and Restore Protocol may offer support. It’s designed for those times when you’re running on empty, when your body feels both wired and drained, and true rest feels out of reach.
This gentle listening process uses specific sound frequencies to help your nervous system slow down and remember how to rest. When chronic stress has kept your system on alert for too long, it can forget how to shift into recovery. The Rest and Restore Protocol helps rebuild that capacity so your body can begin to relax, restore, and recharge in a deeper way.
Integrative Support for Mind and Body
Anxiety touches every part of life, your focus, sleep, energy, and even how you move through the day. Alongside somatic work, we can explore lifestyle patterns that influence how you feel. Small, supportive changes in movement, sunlight, and daily rhythm can make a meaningful difference in how your nervous system functions and how steady you feel overall.
As a certified integrative mental health provider, I take a whole-person approach. Sometimes that means noticing how certain foods affect your energy or anxiety levels, or exploring how consistent movement or time outdoors impacts your mood. When it seems helpful, we can also collaborate with other professionals, such as your primary care doctor, psychiatrist, or nutrition specialist, to make sure we’re considering your mental health from every angle.
These pieces work best when they’re personalized and doable. You’ll always have choice in what feels right for you, and together we’ll find what supports your mind and body so that healing becomes part of everyday life, not just something that happens in sessions.
What Changes You Can Expect
As your system learns to regulate, you may start to notice changes that feel subtle at first but grow over time.
Physically:
That constant tension in your shoulders and chest starts to ease
Your sleep feels more restorative
Breathing deepens naturally instead of feeling forced
You have more steady energy because your body isn’t always bracing
Emotionally:
Worry feels less consuming, and your mind quiets more easily
You recover faster when stress shows up
It’s easier to stay present rather than spinning in what-ifs
You begin to trust your ability to handle what comes
In relationships:
You react less automatically and respond with more clarity
Setting boundaries starts to feel possible
Social interactions feel less draining and more natural
You can take in care or support without feeling overwhelmed
These shifts take time, but they last because we’re not forcing calm — we’re helping your body and mind work together in a way that supports real steadiness.
Getting Started: What to Expect
Our work begins with a brief 10-minute consultation you can schedule through my website. It’s a simple way to meet, talk about what’s bringing you to therapy, and see if this approach feels like a good fit.
If we decide to move forward, everything happens online. You’ll complete paperwork and receive your secure session link before we meet. In our first session, we take time to get oriented, explore what feels most supportive, and begin to notice how anxiety shows up in both your mind and body. The pace is always guided by what feels comfortable for you.
I recommend weekly sessions because consistency helps your system settle and adapt. Between sessions, you may begin noticing what helps you feel more grounded or steady — simple, gentle practices that support your nervous system and help the work integrate into your daily life.
I work exclusively online throughout Florida and Illinois, including Fort Lauderdale, Boca Raton, Delray Beach, West Palm Beach, and Chicago. Meeting from a familiar space makes it easier for your body to relax and for us to focus on what matters most: helping you feel more at ease, present, and connected.
Common Questions
Is this going to make me relive difficult stuff? Not in the way you might expect. In Somatic Experiencing, we don’t go searching for painful memories or retell stories in detail. Sometimes memories or emotions naturally arise as your body begins to feel safer. When that happens, we slow things down and help your body stay present while processing them. You won’t be left alone in the experience — I’ll guide you in noticing sensations, grounding, and finding safety in the moment. Over time, this helps your system learn that it can remember or feel difficult things without becoming overwhelmed.
How long until I feel different? There isn’t a set timeline for this kind of work. Everyone’s process is different, and ongoing stress in your life can affect how quickly things shift. Some people notice early changes — moments of feeling more settled, more aware of what their body needs, or finding small pockets of rest where there wasn’t any before. The deeper work, like being able to stay present through stress or recover more easily afterward, takes time. This process isn’t only about feeling better, it’s about building the capacity to meet life’s challenges with more steadiness and self-trust.
What makes this different from regular therapy? While talk therapy focuses on insight and understanding, somatic therapy helps your body integrate that insight. We include the body’s responses — tension, breath, sensations — because that’s where anxiety and stress live. Over time, this helps your mind and body work together so you can feel more grounded and present, not just understand why you feel the way you do.
Can I do this on my own? You can certainly practice grounding or mindfulness techniques, and they can be supportive. But Somatic Experiencing is a guided process that relies on professional attunement. My role is to notice subtle shifts — your breath, your tone, your posture — and help your system regulate safely. It’s a collaborative process that creates change you can actually feel.
You Don't Have to Stay Stuck
You may have already tried a lot to ease your anxiety. You’ve read the books, downloaded the apps, maybe even spent years in therapy. Yet no matter how much you understand yourself, your body still feels on edge, tense, and restless inside.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your body needs a different kind of support — one that helps your mind and nervous system find steadiness together.
Anxiety often keeps your system working overtime, always scanning, always preparing for what could go wrong. With the right guidance, you can begin to find new patterns that let your body settle, your thoughts slow down, and your energy feel more available for the things that matter most.
If this sounds familiar, capable on the outside but exhausted and anxious on the inside, tired of trying to think your way out of tension or worry, it may be time to try something different. You can schedule a free 10-minute consultation directly through my calendar
You don’t have to keep pushing through. With the right support, your body and mind can learn how to move out of constant alert and into a steadier way of being.