Anxiety Therapy: When Your Body Won't Let Your Mind Relax
On the outside, you're holding it together. You meet deadlines, show up for the people you care about, and keep life moving. But your body stays tense, your mind doesn't stop spinning, and even small things can make your chest tighten or your stomach knot. You want to rest, but it's like your body can't find the off switch.
You've probably tried to manage it. Maybe you've talked through your worries in therapy, challenged anxious thoughts, or reminded yourself that you're overthinking. Some of those strategies may have helped, but they haven't changed what happens in your body. You understand what's happening, yet your body continues to react as though something is wrong.
You might replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, or feel a rush of panic for no clear reason. Sleep doesn't feel restorative. Your heart races when you least expect it, and relaxing sometimes makes you feel even more uneasy. It can be confusing when you understand something logically, but your body keeps responding differently.
I'm Amy Hagerstrom, a licensed therapist and Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner. I work with adults who seem composed and capable on the outside but feel anxious, overwhelmed, or exhausted on the inside. In this article, I'll explain why anxiety can feel so persistent, why understanding it doesn't always change what your body does, and how working with your body can help create lasting change.
Why I'm Writing About This
The reason I care so deeply about this work is personal.
Anxiety has been part of my own life, too. Like many people, I spent a long time trying to understand it through my thoughts. I didn't know much about the nervous system, and I certainly didn't realize that many of the reactions I was frustrated by were my body's way of trying to protect me.
Learning about the nervous system changed how I understood anxiety, and it shaped how I work as a therapist. I still experience anxiety at times because that's part of being human. What changed wasn't that anxiety disappeared. It was that I began to understand what my body was trying to do and stopped seeing those reactions as something I needed to fight.
Today, I help people develop greater flexibility, resilience, and capacity so anxiety doesn't have to leave them feeling stuck in the same patterns. My hope is that this article helps you begin to understand your own experience differently, too.
Why Anxiety Can Feel So Persistent
One of the most frustrating things about anxiety is that it doesn't always make sense. Sometimes you know exactly why you're anxious. Other times it seems to come out of nowhere. You might wake up feeling uneasy before anything has even happened, or notice yourself worrying long before you know what you're worried about.
That's because anxiety isn't only something you think or something you feel in your body. Your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and behaviors are constantly influencing one another. Sometimes an anxious thought comes first. Other times your body becomes tense, your heart starts racing, or your stomach tightens, and your mind begins searching for an explanation. Before you know it, your whole experience has shifted.
For many people, these patterns develop gradually. Ongoing stress, difficult relationships, caregiving, perfectionism, or years of feeling like you have to hold everything together can teach your body to stay alert, even when there isn't an immediate threat.
These reactions don't mean something is wrong with you. They are learned protective responses. Your body is doing what it believes it needs to do to help you get through the day. The encouraging part is that learned patterns can change.
You might replay what you said, wish you had handled things differently, or wonder why you reacted so strongly. You may feel embarrassed, frustrated, or discouraged that you're still struggling, even when you've worked hard to understand your anxiety.
These patterns develop for good reasons, and they can change. Therapy helps you develop greater flexibility so anxiety no longer has to shape every moment of your life.
A Different Way to Work With Anxiety
Many people come to therapy already understanding their anxiety. They know they're overthinking. They know they worry more than they'd like. The problem isn't a lack of insight. Understanding anxiety doesn't always change what happens in your mind and body.
In our work together, we don't ignore your thoughts or emotions. We talk about what's happening in your life, the situations that trigger anxiety, your relationships, and the patterns you've begun to notice. We simply bring your body into the conversation, too.
As we explore what's happening in your life, we also pay attention to how your body responds. That gives us a fuller understanding of your experience and helps us notice patterns that are easy to miss when we focus only on thoughts. Rather than asking, "What's wrong with me?" we begin to ask, "What makes sense about this?"
What This Actually Looks Like
Somatic Experiencing® is the foundation of my work with anxiety. Sessions begin much like many other forms of therapy. We talk about what's been happening in your life, what's been difficult, and what feels important that day. As we do, I'll also invite you to notice what's happening in your body.
Maybe your chest tightens when you talk about work. Your stomach drops before a difficult conversation. Your shoulders stay tense long after a stressful day has ended. You may notice your breathing change, your posture shift, or an urge to move, sigh, or look away. These responses make sense. Together, we get curious about them instead of immediately trying to make them go away.
We slow things down enough to notice these patterns without becoming overwhelmed. Sometimes we'll stay with a sensation for a few moments. Other times we might experiment with a grounding practice, a small movement, or simply notice what changes when you bring awareness to what's happening in your body.
As your capacity grows, you may find that anxious thoughts don't pull you in as quickly. Stressful moments become easier to move through, and your body begins to recover more easily afterward. You still experience anxiety because you're human, but it no longer has to shape every decision you make or leave you feeling stuck in the same familiar patterns.
Somatic Experiencing is the foundation of my work. Depending on your needs, we may also incorporate the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) or the Rest and Restore Protocol (RRP). These listening therapies can complement our work by supporting regulation, rest, and recovery when they're a good fit.
This is a collaborative process. I'll help you notice patterns you may not recognize on your own and support you at a pace that feels manageable. We'll decide together which approaches make the most sense for your goals and your nervous system. My goal is to help you develop greater flexibility, resilience, and capacity so you can respond to life's challenges with more choice and feel more like yourself again.
How Anxiety Affects Your Mind and Body
Anxiety can affect the way you think, feel, and experience your body.
You may notice your jaw clenching before you realize you're stressed. Your shoulders stay tense after a difficult meeting. Your heart races while you're lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Your stomach drops before a hard conversation, or you find yourself holding your breath without realizing it.
These responses make sense. For many people, anxiety reflects a nervous system that has become very good at anticipating what could go wrong. It spends more time preparing for danger than recognizing when the danger has passed.
Common Stress Responses
With anxiety, flight is often the dominant pattern.
Your mind races through worst-case scenarios, replays conversations, searches for reassurance, and tries to stay one step ahead of every possible problem. Your body may feel restless, tense, or unable to relax, even when you know you're safe.
When that state continues for a long time, it can begin to shift into freeze. Freeze often feels like having one foot on the gas and one on the brake at the same time. Part of you wants to move forward while another part holds you back. You overthink, procrastinate, or feel stuck even when you know what you want to do.
For some people, prolonged stress eventually leads to shutdown. You may feel exhausted, emotionally numb, disconnected, or like you've run out of energy.
Fight can also be part of anxiety, showing up as irritability, frustration, or snapping at the people you care about.
These patterns develop for good reasons, even if they no longer serve you in the ways they once did. As you begin to recognize them, you can develop greater flexibility and more choice in how you respond.
How This Work Can Help
Many people find that anxiety begins to take up less space in their lives.
Worry may become less frequent, less intense, and easier to move through. Stressful moments become easier to recover from. You may notice your shoulders aren't as tense at the end of the day, you sleep more soundly, or you find yourself taking a full breath without thinking about it.
You may also notice changes in the way you relate to yourself and the people around you. Instead of getting pulled into old patterns automatically, you have more space to pause and choose how you want to respond. Setting boundaries may feel more manageable. Conversations that once left you replaying every word become easier to let go of. You begin to trust your ability to handle difficult moments without anxiety taking over.
These changes usually happen gradually. Many people first notice that they're recovering more quickly after stress or catching themselves before old patterns take over. As that capacity grows, anxiety often becomes less frequent, less intense, and easier to move through, leaving more space for work, relationships, and the parts of life that matter most to you.
What Happens Next?
If you're curious whether this approach is right for you, the first step is a free 10-minute consultation. It's a chance for us to talk about what's been going on, answer your questions, and see whether we're a good fit to work together.
If we decide to move forward, we'll meet online for weekly 55-minute sessions. We'll explore what's contributing to your anxiety, notice how it shows up in your thoughts, emotions, and body, and work together at a pace that feels manageable.
I work with adults throughout Florida and Illinois via online therapy, including Fort Lauderdale, Boca Raton, Delray Beach, West Palm Beach, Chicago, and the surrounding areas.
Common Questions
Will I have to relive difficult experiences? Not necessarily. We don't begin by revisiting painful memories or asking you to tell your story in detail. Instead, we focus on what's happening in the present. If memories or emotions naturally arise, we'll work with them at a pace that feels manageable while helping you stay grounded and connected. Many people find it reassuring that this approach doesn't require them to talk about more than they're ready for.
How long does therapy usually take? Most people notice some shifts within the first few months of weekly therapy. The timeline depends on what brings you to therapy. While some concerns shift relatively quickly, more longstanding anxiety, trauma, or chronic stress patterns often unfold over a year or more as deeper change and growth take place. Rather than focusing only on symptom relief, our work is about helping you develop greater flexibility, resilience, and capacity so you can navigate life's challenges differently.
Does Somatic Experiencing work online? Yes. Somatic Experiencing works very well online. We pay attention to what's happening in the present moment through your posture, breathing, facial expressions, movement, and your own awareness of physical sensations. Many people actually find it easier to practice these skills from the comfort of home because they're learning in the environment where they'll use them every day.
If This Resonated With You
Many of the people I work with have spent years trying to understand their anxiety. They've read the books, listened to the podcasts, practiced coping skills, or been to therapy before. Even with insight, they still feel caught in the same patterns.
If you recognized yourself in this article, I invite you to explore the rest of my website. You can learn more about Somatic Experiencing, my approach to anxiety therapy, and whether online therapy feels like a good fit for what you're looking for.
If it does, you're welcome to reach out. I'd be happy to learn more about what's bringing you to therapy and answer any questions you have about working together.