Lemonading: How Nervous System Regulation Creates Space for Playfulness and Resilience

I get pretty excited when I come across examples in everyday life that reflect what I see in therapy, even when they never mention the nervous system. That just happened when I came across an article about “lemonading”—finding playfulness and creativity in life’s challenges.

A recent study found that people who take a more playful approach to stress and uncertainty tend to be more resilient, optimistic, and emotionally flexible.

When your body isn't using all of its energy to protect you, there's often more room for curiosity, creativity, and genuine playfulness. But if you've been living with trauma, anxiety, chronic stress, or overwhelm, playfulness may feel difficult to access.

This is one place where somatic therapy can help.

Who I Am and Why I’m talking about This

I’m Amy Hagerstrom, a somatic psychotherapist and Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner. I work with adults navigating trauma, anxiety, chronic stress, and the changes and questions that can come with midlife.

A lot of my work is about helping people feel more at home in their bodies, with greater capacity for stress and difficult emotions and more flexibility in how they respond.

When you’ve spent a long time in survival mode, playfulness, lightness, and fun often aren’t much of a priority. Your mind and body are focused on getting through what needs to be done, managing what might happen next, or simply making it through the day. There may not be much room left for curiosity, spontaneity, or doing something simply because you enjoy it.

And that matters. Life can start to feel very serious when so much of your energy goes toward managing stress or staying protected.

How Playfulness Relates to Nervous System Regulation

When your body is working hard to protect you, it may spend more time in fight, flight, freeze, or collapse. Some people feel anxious, restless, or constantly on alert. Others find themselves shutting down, going blank, or feeling disconnected. Some feel exhausted, heavy, or emotionally numb.

These are protective responses, and they can make it harder to feel curious, engaged, or open to life's lighter moments.

Of course, people naturally vary in how playful they are. Some have always been more serious, thoughtful, or reserved, and that's completely okay. This isn't about becoming someone you're not.

Genuine playfulness, the kind that isn't forced, tends to become more available when your body experiences more felt safety. As that sense of safety and capacity grows, there may be more room to engage with life in ways that feel curious, connected, spontaneous, or playful.

Simple Ways to Help Your Nervous System Make Space for Play

You can't force yourself to feel playful. But you can create conditions that make it more possible.

Ground

Notice the support underneath you. Feel your feet on the floor or your body against the chair. You might gently shift your weight or press into the surface beneath you.

Sometimes simply noticing that support helps your body recognize, "In this moment, I am safe."

Look Around

Take a slow look around your space.

Notice colors, light, textures, or something that catches your attention. If your eyes land on something unpleasant, keep looking until you find something neutral or enjoyable.

Move

Movement doesn't have to be big.

You might stretch, shake out your arms, slowly turn your head, squeeze and release your hands, rock gently, or take a short walk. Small movements are often enough.

Step Outside

If you can, spend a few minutes outside.

Feel the air, notice the light, look at the trees or the sky, or simply pay attention to what's around you.

What works for one person might not work for another, so it’s worth experimenting.

When Playfulness Feels Impossible: Where Somatic Therapy Comes In

If playfulness feels like something you used to have but can't quite access anymore, you're not alone.

When the body has been protecting you for a long time, it usually takes more than insight or positive thinking for those patterns to shift.

That's where somatic therapy comes in.

Somatic therapy includes talking, but it also pays attention to what is happening in your body while we're talking. We might notice changes in breathing, muscle tension, posture, sensations, or impulses to move. At times, we may bring in gentle movement, notice an impulse to push or pull, press your feet into the floor, or slow down and stay with a sensation or emotion for a little longer.

Rather than trying to force change, we work with what your body is already communicating.

Many people also notice that shame begins to soften. They start to understand that their reactions aren't signs of weakness or failure. Their mind and body have been doing their best to protect them.

Somatic Experiencing is the foundation of my work. It gives us a way to work with these patterns as they show up in the present, while helping you build greater capacity and flexibility in how you respond.

Final Thoughts

Life will always include stress, loss, uncertainty, and challenges.

But when your body has more capacity, those experiences don't have to take up all the available space.

Many people notice that curiosity, creativity, connection, and genuine playfulness begin to return on their own. They aren't forcing themselves to be positive. Their body simply has more room for something besides protection.

If you've noticed moments like that, even brief ones, they may be signs that your body is experiencing more felt safety and flexibility than it once could.

If this way of thinking about stress and the body resonates with you, you can learn more about my approach to somatic therapy or reach out if you're interested in working together. I'm licensed in Florida and Illinois and provide online therapy to adults in both states.

Life won't always feel playful. But when it begins showing up a little more often or a little more naturally, it may be one sign that your mind and body no longer need to spend quite so much energy protecting you. 🍋